Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What Goes Around Comes Around

I don't often weep with strangers, but I did with Cheryl and Jason. I watched them watching the rest of us, those of us who had successfully 'crossed over' to parenthood, and the carefully arranged look on Cheryl's face tore through me like a hot knife.

I have to say something to the two of you, I began. I remember... how you feel right now. I remember listening to other people's stories and feeling really angry and resentful, and smiling politely and passing the pretzels and wanting to scream at them to shut up! about how wonderful it was to meet their baby's birth mother, and how it was all worth it in the end, and how I should "Hang in there!" and trust that God brings families together at the right time.

As Cheryl's face crumbled I told them I know it doesn't seem fair and it doesn't make sense yet, but when you're waiting to adopt, there is nothing else to do but hang in there and trust God.

That was thirteen months ago, and Cheryl and Jason's amazing daughter is now six months old. Truly, what goes around comes around, because here I am, frustrated waiting for our second child. Here I am, anxious and doubting and awake at 2:00 a.m. And here is Cheryl's blog:

When we were in the waiting period, I always thought that this adoption would never happen. It was taking too long, we had been hurt and were spending more and more money each month. I have to say that what everyone told me was true. I was told that the "right" baby would make its way to us and she has. This is very difficult to see when you are in the midst of the waiting period, when a potential adoption plan falls through or when everyone around you has children and/or new babies. God's plans are always greater than our own. The reason I was never able to have biological children is now in our home. All 6 pounds and 5.5 ounces of her. It was meant to be that I become her Mother.

I feel at peace again for the first time in a while, and I think I can fall asleep now. Thanks, Cheryl.

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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Anonymous said...

How very powerful! I have a friend that is going through a very tough time in the adoption process. Hope you don't mind that I plan on passing this note on to her.

Kristi said...


I've never been where you are, but after that AMAZING post, I am so touched...(I don't think I could ever completely understand...but I DO feel pain for you and all of those who can not have their own and are trying to adopt).

You're in my prayers.

Grace said...

Wow, Sally! That's a beautiful post... very moving. Good luck on your wait.

caydenandcolby said...

OK, now I'm crying. You have a gift for expressing things that I feel but I don't have the words to say it so beautifully. Tears on my keyboard but my heart is lighter.

Parenthood For Me said...

Beautiful post!