Thursday, February 18, 2010

Maru On My Mind

Who's Maru?
She's virtually a stranger, yet she's a virtual friend.
She's vibrant and gracious and grateful and inspiring.
She's a devoted wife.
She's a new mother.
And she's very much on my mind.

Tomorrow is her family's finalization date.
Tomorrow means a lot.
And it means almost nothing.

Finalization means the adoption is complete.
It means the adoption verb becomes past tense.
It means Maru and Fico are their daughter's parents in the eyes of the law.

Finalization means closure for their daughter's first mother. How she feels about that, no one really knows, except her. Maybe. On a really good day.

Finalization means that the guiding and deciding and upholding and holding up and giving beyond all reason that is parenting... well, finalization means nothing in that regard. Because parenting comes from the heart. It's in the words you choose and the words you hold back. It's in your sighs and tears and insomnia and chest-bursting pride. It's not in the ink-filled pores of a piece of paper.

So tomorrow means a lot.
And it means almost nothing.
And Maru is very much on my mind.

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Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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5 comments:

Maru said...

Thanks, Sally! What a nice surprise. This means so much to us. We're very grateful. God bless you always.

"It's in your sighs and tears and insomnia and chest-bursting pride. It's not in the ink-filled pores of a piece of paper."

You couldn't have said it better.

Much love,

Maru & Fico

Mama Bear said...

I agree it is imortatn and yet kinda not, it was really just another day, Iwill say I thought alot about my sons birthmom that day for some reason, maybe becasue we never met her, not sure

PFM said...

This is beautiful

Jason said...

What's so weird is that Friday was our Family's finalization day as well ! Having just experienced this first hand, I can say that you are absolutely right about the fact that finalization means everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. We have always felt that our daughter has been completely ours since the first time our eyes met hers. We thought about our daughter's Birth Mother quite a bit this weekend. Thanks for saying what we have been feeling for several days now.

Adoptive Momma said...

I am doing a post on your new book today. I look forwarding to reading it.

A wonderful post for Maru and Fico.