Despite the impression the media likes to give, it's not always the adoptive parents who break off the relationship.
Sometimes we do everything we can to stay connected, and after 2, 3, several years it's the first mother who drops off the radar; doesn't return calls; ignores emails; stops sending pictures and letters; no-shows our get-togethers. Takes herself out of the child's life.
I "get" (as well as I can) a first mother's need to do that. But it's upsetting for the child. As abandonment issues go, it's pretty high on the pain scale.
I'm not asking anyone to justify their feelings or actions.
I'm just saying.