Saturday, November 29, 2008

Adopting Snowflakes

People often ask if waiting for our second child is easier than waiting for our first. Absolutely. And no way. It's just different.

I had no frame of reference the first time. I knew I wanted a child, but the want was a general feeling of wanting to grow my family. I wanted a baby to hold, a toddler to play with, a child to teach about faith and integrity.

Now I know the intimacy and intricacy I was missing. Now I know that I want a baby with spring-loaded fingers and translucent eyelids. I want chub-a-licious drumstick thighs and a sweet-smelling head. Now I know that I want a toddler to pee all over the bathroom and mop it up with my pillow and proudly announce "It's OK, Mama. I cweaned it all by myself!" Now I know that I want a child to say "Even when I'm upset, Mama, I always love you."

Now I know what I was missing, and that makes the second wait more painful. At the same time, it's much, much easier waiting for my second child, because I have been blessed with my first. By turns captivating, aggravating, inspiring, and tiring, she will always be My First.

Every adoption experience is different. Every one is unique and beautiful in its way. Just like snowflakes.

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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Saturday, November 8, 2008

Adoption Frame of Mind

Last night my daughter heard me talking on the phone to a friend, Lindsey.
"Who was that, Mama? Lindsey?"
Yes, it was Lindsey.
"Who's Lindsey?"
You know her as Mrs. Carr. She's Abby mother.
"Lindsey is Abby's mother?"
(thoughtful frown) "Who's Abby's birth mother?"
Lindsey is her birth mother. Abby came out of her tummy.
(another thoughtful frown) "Do you mean Abby's birth mother and her mother is only one person? It's both Lindsey?"
Yes, Babe.
"Oh, that makes me so sad for Abby. She only has one. Poor Abby!"

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+