I like most of the writing I read in the Wall Street Journal, so I was surprised to find parts of a July 9, 2009 article "Targeting ‘Feel-Good’ Benefits" at www.online.wsj.com really insensitive. It may be a lack of understanding or poor choice of language on the author's part, but it's an example of how easy it is to play into negative stereotypes about adoption, and I think anyone who writes or edits on the topic should be more careful.
The article points out a cost-cutting trend among employers to reduce or eliminate post-adoption benefits for employees. In the section subheaded Domestic Adoptions, the author writes: Such private-placement adoptions, which typically cost $10,000 to $30,000, may be on the rise, based on anecdotal reports, Mr. Johnson says, as financial troubles may be causing some women to offer for adoption children they might have raised in the past.
First of all, I think it's too easy to read that as "Women who place their babies for adoption make $10,000 to $30,000 on the deal." Not so. Birthmothers may receive financial assistance for basic necessities related to their pregnancy and adoption, like medical care, housing, transportation, and counseling services. They do not receive a fee for the adoption!
Secondly, women don't "offer" their children for adoption. Women, with and without "financial troubles", deliberate and question and hope and pray... and finally they take a leap of faith. They decide to make an adoption plan, in many cases they choose the adoptive parent or parents, and often maintain some contact with the children they created. To say that they "offer" children for adoption makes it sound like they post a notice on Craig'slist and unload the kid to the first person who comes forward with the cash.
The decision to make an adoption plan is sometimes obvious, but it's never easy. This section of the article perpetuates toxic misunderstanding of birth mothers and adopted children, and I'm disappointed in the WSJ for printing it as such.
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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Showing posts with label domestic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label domestic. Show all posts
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Foster Care Adoptions on the Rise
Statistics show that rates of foster care adoption are increasing in the U.S. USA Today recently reported higher rates of foster care adoption in Michigan, Arizona, and Colorado, specifically, and the trend is apparent across the U.S.
Sharen Ford, of Colorado's Department of Human Services is quoted by USA Today: "The pendulum is swinging," adding that the lower cost of foster-care adoptions helped bring about the apparent trend. Ford also tabbed more stringent adoption policies embraced by foreign countries regarding international adoptions as a key factor in the adoption shift.
I'm glad to see this kind of pub for foster care adoption. Many people who are open to adoption don't even consider foster care and foster care adoption, and certainly, it's not for everyone. Kids adopted from foster care are often difficult to place because they are usually older, often special needs, and often in sibling groups, and many of them struggle with attachment and other emotional issues. Most of these kids are far needier than the average domestic newborn.
And the legalities of foster care adoption can be trickier than adopting an infant through a private or agency adoption. Birth mothers often maintain contact and some visitation during a foster care placement. BMs either relinquish their parental rights or have their rights legally revoked in order for a foster care placement to move forward to an adoption, neither of which happens easily.
But the kids in foster care need and deserve loving, stable, supportive families as much as any other kid does. I celebrate any positive attention on foster care adoption, because I think the more people hear about it, the more they want to learn about it, and the more likely it is that foster care adoption will feel "right" for the "right" people.
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
Sharen Ford, of Colorado's Department of Human Services is quoted by USA Today: "The pendulum is swinging," adding that the lower cost of foster-care adoptions helped bring about the apparent trend. Ford also tabbed more stringent adoption policies embraced by foreign countries regarding international adoptions as a key factor in the adoption shift.
I'm glad to see this kind of pub for foster care adoption. Many people who are open to adoption don't even consider foster care and foster care adoption, and certainly, it's not for everyone. Kids adopted from foster care are often difficult to place because they are usually older, often special needs, and often in sibling groups, and many of them struggle with attachment and other emotional issues. Most of these kids are far needier than the average domestic newborn.
And the legalities of foster care adoption can be trickier than adopting an infant through a private or agency adoption. Birth mothers often maintain contact and some visitation during a foster care placement. BMs either relinquish their parental rights or have their rights legally revoked in order for a foster care placement to move forward to an adoption, neither of which happens easily.
But the kids in foster care need and deserve loving, stable, supportive families as much as any other kid does. I celebrate any positive attention on foster care adoption, because I think the more people hear about it, the more they want to learn about it, and the more likely it is that foster care adoption will feel "right" for the "right" people.
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
Friday, March 13, 2009
He's He-re!
Tuesday night, March 10th, we finally got The Call. A birth mother had chosen us to adopt her baby, and if we were willing to make a leap of faith and drive across the state, she'd like to meet us as soon as possible. And oh, by the way, she's been induced and is hoping we can make it in time for the delivery. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????? Hmm... let me think about that for about .0000003 second!
Long story short, our son was born in the wee hours of Wed. March 11th. We were there in time and we held him immediately after.
We were doubly blessed to be able to spend a few days in the hospital with our son's birth mother and both of her parents. By the time we headed home we all felt like family.
Our daughter's reaction added uber-coolness to the whole experience. She was (and still is) beside herself with joy and pride at being a big sister. She was like a little carnival barker her first day back at school. "Who else would like a turn to meet my new baby brother?" She wore her "I'm a Big Sister" t-shirt to school three times that week. My motherly instinct (you can't wear the same shirt to school three days in a row!) didn't stand a chance against her beaming smile. Besides, every time I look at her in that shirt I break out in tears. She's waited a long time for a sibling, and on top of that, it was our son's birth mother who bought that shirt for our daughter in the hospital gift shop. She bought him his first teddy bear and said she didn't want to give a gift to him without giving something to his sister, too.
Yeah, I'm crying again. There is a post-partum component to adoption that no one tells you about! :)
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
Long story short, our son was born in the wee hours of Wed. March 11th. We were there in time and we held him immediately after.
We were doubly blessed to be able to spend a few days in the hospital with our son's birth mother and both of her parents. By the time we headed home we all felt like family.
Our daughter's reaction added uber-coolness to the whole experience. She was (and still is) beside herself with joy and pride at being a big sister. She was like a little carnival barker her first day back at school. "Who else would like a turn to meet my new baby brother?" She wore her "I'm a Big Sister" t-shirt to school three times that week. My motherly instinct (you can't wear the same shirt to school three days in a row!) didn't stand a chance against her beaming smile. Besides, every time I look at her in that shirt I break out in tears. She's waited a long time for a sibling, and on top of that, it was our son's birth mother who bought that shirt for our daughter in the hospital gift shop. She bought him his first teddy bear and said she didn't want to give a gift to him without giving something to his sister, too.
Yeah, I'm crying again. There is a post-partum component to adoption that no one tells you about! :)
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Adoption Financial Assistance
Economic instability affects adoption in at least two significant ways: more babies and children are placed for adoption, and prospective adoptive parents are more challenged by the financial burden of adoption.
Domestic adoption in the U.S. typically costs anywhere from $12,00 to $20,000 (more, in some cases), depending on medical, legal, agency, and travel expenses. International adoption may cost more or less, depending on similar variables. And as any parent knows, that's just the beginning!
Help Us Adopt is a national non-profit 501 (c)3 financial assistance grant program that will provide qualified couples and individuals (regardless of race, religion, marital status or sexual preference) with grants of up to $15,000 towards their adoption expenses. You can review their FAQs and download a grant application from the website.
The Financial Aspect of Adoption is an article on Suite 101.com that offers a variety of strategies for funding your adoption.
Please let me know of other resources you've found helpful. I'll be happy to post them here.
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
Domestic adoption in the U.S. typically costs anywhere from $12,00 to $20,000 (more, in some cases), depending on medical, legal, agency, and travel expenses. International adoption may cost more or less, depending on similar variables. And as any parent knows, that's just the beginning!
Help Us Adopt is a national non-profit 501 (c)3 financial assistance grant program that will provide qualified couples and individuals (regardless of race, religion, marital status or sexual preference) with grants of up to $15,000 towards their adoption expenses. You can review their FAQs and download a grant application from the website.
The Financial Aspect of Adoption is an article on Suite 101.com that offers a variety of strategies for funding your adoption.
Please let me know of other resources you've found helpful. I'll be happy to post them here.
Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel
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