Monday, January 23, 2012

One Down, One to Go?

I took the kids sledding last week, and we had a great time until I got plowed down by a teenager on an out-of-control snow tube. I mean plowed down. Tossed like a rag doll-lost a boot in mid air- struck my head on landing. I got CLOCKED!

As I lay on the snow I thought, "I hit my head. Hard. I can't get up."

Then I became aware of crying and my daughter's voice. "Get up, Mommy. Mommy, get up! Get up!!" But I couldn't get up. It was more than a full minute before I could even speak to let her know I heard her, and the impact that had on her will haunt me for a very long time.

At first terrified, she became angry - really angry - when I finally got up. She broke down sobbing, "I thought you were killed! I thought I was going to be without a mother forever! How could I grow up without a mother? You can't leave me like that!"

And in that moment, I didn't care about anyone's "expert" opinion. Adoption is a loss. It is. I know she was talking about me, but I also know that the loss of her first mother waits somewhere inside her. And even if she isn't aware of that loss yet, I am. And the thought of her losing two mothers brings me to my knees.

Click here to purchase Sally's , What I Want My Adopted Child to Know: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective.

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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Linda said...

OUCH!! Im glad you are ok, Sally!!

My a Mom was often sick and in the hospital when I was a little girl. I could never understand my behavior towards the different people who gave my ap's childcare during this time. I get it now...

Myst said...

Oh Sally!! I hope you are okay and got that head checked out!! Very scary for both of you. Take care of yourselves xxx

shannon said...

So scary for both of you! I'm glad you're ok.