Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Open Note to Absent First Mothers

Despite the impression the media likes to give, it's not always the adoptive parents who break off the relationship.

Sometimes we do everything we can to stay connected, and after 2, 3, several years it's the first mother who drops off the radar; doesn't return calls; ignores emails; stops sending pictures and letters; no-shows our get-togethers. Takes herself out of the child's life.

I "get" (as well as I can) a first mother's need to do that. But it's upsetting for the child. As abandonment issues go, it's pretty high on the pain scale.

I'm not asking anyone to justify their feelings or actions.

I'm just saying.

1 comment:

Shoshanah Shear said...

Hi Sally

Thank you for sharing this. I was lead to believe that adopted children are not permitted to know they are adopted or to have contact with the first / biological mother. In what situations is there the type of contact you mentioned that sadly later was discontinued?

Many thanks