Birth Mother Voices

I expected to be emotionally moved by the Birth Mother's Day celebration. In fact, it was more like a tectonic shift.

Birth mother grief... I never imagined the depth or scope of it. I didn't know, I just didn't know, how it felt from your side of time.

Our childless counselors and the celibate priests, and those married with children said, "Go on with your life. You will be able to have other children", and turning away they spoke only of the joy of those who received our children as though it was now the only story. (from Breaking the Silence by Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh)

There is a child somewhere,
Lost in earth,
Or time,
He was mine.
There is no other feeling
Like the movement of an unborn child,
It's closer than someone touching you,
From the outside.
It is purely and cleanly,
And clearly,
Your own moment.
For those few months we were together
Alone against the world
But society,
That grand cheat,
Took him away
When we needed each other most.
I cannot say why I could not keep him.
Could there be a reason why?
Did I reject him in my guilt?
Because he wouldn't let me give up
When I wanted to?
I carried him, and he carried me.
Through a time when we could not go alone.
And I've been lost ever since.
(Lost by Cindy Sheff)

I know now that I will never know, but now I understand.

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
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Birthmother's Day

Tomorrow (Saturday, May 9) is Birthmother's Day.

I pray for birthmothers everywhere:
That you feel at peace with your decision
That you feel honored and respected by the adoptive parents
That you walk proud, knowing that you gave the gift of life

I pray for birthfathers everywhere:
That you are at peace with the birthmother
That you are silent or invisible by your choice, not by someone else's
That you have the emotional and social support you need

Extra special thoughts and prayers to M and J, my children's birthmothers. It is because of you that we have our family, and our gratitude grows with each passing day.

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel

Foster Care Families - Genesee Valley Parent Magazine

I've been reading the Genesee Valley Parent since before I was a parent. It's a great resource for all things parenting.

I wrote the feature story for the May 2009 issue - Foster Care Families: Safety, Support and Care for Children in Need. I hope you'll check it out!

Sally Bacchetta
The Adoptive Parent
My Google Profile+
Sally Bacchetta's YouTube Channel